대화를 통한 공감대 형성의 중요성

인간관계와 대화기법 2009/10/09 03:22 leadership

<대화를 통한 공감대 형성의 중요성>


배려의 원칙에서 가장 중요한 것은 ‘공감대의 형성’이다. 타인의 관점에 공감할 수 있으면 그와 친해지기도 쉽다. 그들은 당신이 자신에게 진정으로 관심을 갖고 있다는 사실을 깨닫게 될 것이기 때문이다. 이러한 공감대 형성을 위한 가장 손쉬운 방법은 단순하다. 그들에게 물어보면 된다.

여기에 서로 물어보지 않으면 어떤 일이 일어나는 지를 보여주는 아주 재미있는 일화가 있다.

세 아들이 성공하기 위해 길을 나섰는데, 모두 다 성공하여 많은 돈을 벌었다. 승부욕이 강한 세 아들은 한데 모여, 자신이 늙으신 어머님께 무엇을 선물했는지를 자랑했다.

첫째가 말했다. “나는 어머니께 커다란 집을 지어드렸지.”
둘째가 말했다. “나는 어머니께 운전 기사가 딸린 최고급 승용차를 보내드렸지.”
셋째가 말했다. “형들 모두 다 나한테 졌어. 어머니는 성경 읽으시는 것을 좋아하셨는데 요즘 시력이 약해지셔서 글을 잘 못 읽으시잖아. 그래서 나는 성경 전체 내용을 모조리 암송하는 갈색 앵무새를 드렸지. 수도원에 사는 수도사 열 두명이 12년 동안 밤낮으로 훈련시킨 결과물이었어. 그 훈련비로 일 년에 십만 달러씩 10년이나 기부금을 내야 했지만, 난 전혀 아깝지 않아. 그만한 가치가 있는 일이었으니까. 이제 어머니가 몇 장 몇 절이라고 말씀하시기만 하면, 앵무새가 하나도 틀림없이 척척 다 알아서 성경 말씀을 암송해 줄 거야.”

얼마 후, 어머니는 세 아들에게 편지를 보냈다. 첫째 아들이 받은 편지에는 이렇게 적혀있었다.
“첫째야, 네가 지어 준 집은 너무 크구나. 내가 사용하는 방은 오직 한 개인데 온 방을 다 청소해야만 하니 정말 힘들구나.”

둘째 아들이 받은 편지 내용은 이랬다.
“둘째야, 난 이제 여행 다니기엔 너무 늙었어. 난 항상 집에만 있기 때문에 그 최고급 승용차를 탈 일이 거의 없구나. 그리고 네가 보낸 그 운전사는 무례하기 짝이 없어서 내가 얼마나 힘든지 모른다!”

셋째 아들에게 보내는 어머니의 편지에는 상당한 애정이 담겨 있었다.
“사랑하는 막내야, 역시 이 늙은 어미의 속내를 제대로 헤아리는 사람은 우리 막내밖에 없구나. 그 닭고기는 정말 맛있었단다.”


반전이있는 재밌는 일화죠?^^
2009/10/09 03:22 2009/10/09 03:22
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